Eight years ago today, I met Art Olson at Panera. Below is a picture of us at the booth we met at. When I went to look for this picture tonight to scan it in, I found the church bulletin that he wrote his number on underneath it from that day. Wow, it took me back just to see his handwriting.
So today, I went just like I have every year on this day since I met Art to Panera. It was a tradition we started as a married couple to go there on this day, get a chai tea " our favorite" and remember how the Lord brought us together. Even though he is not here, I still carry on this tradition and remember and thank the Lord for bringing Art and I together. Becasue the truth is even if I knew that the Lord was going to take him to be with Him only a year after being married, I would have wanted to marry him and enjoy the time I had with him.
It was harder today than some of the years in the past, maybe because of everything that has happened this year, or because I was just in Chicago or maybe just because I simply miss him. Most likely it is a combination of all three. Sitting there with the kids tonight, I thought of all the people who smiled at me or commented on the kids, how they had no idea of why I was really there tonight. It is a surreal feeling. I thought about how different my life is now and how much I have changed during these last 8 years. A weird thing happened, my saddness turned into thanksgiving as I prayed for our food, I thanked the Lord for allowing Art and I to meet and for being with me these last 8 years. I was reminded how every breath is a gift and to treasure the time I still do have with those who I love that are here with me. My fears of losing my children, husband, parents, extended family and friends started to subside for a moment as I allowed thanksgiving to replace my fears. Because the truth is, we don't know what each day holds.
The other day, I found the pen of the funeral director's company we had in Italy who helped us with Art. The name of his company says "enjoy your life" in Italian. Daily this is a battle it seems to just enjoy life, but today I am going to start giving thanks to the Lord for at least 5 things every day before I go to sleep.
When I think of things I miss about Art it is his Sensitivity, his Passion, his Smile, his Intensity, his Hair, his Laugh and his Touch so in light of these I am thankful for...
1) I am thankful for Paul's sensitivity and Passion for the Lord, who so graciously listened to me tonight and looked at pictures with me and reminded me that "Art is still real"
3) I am thankful for Noah's Intensity, crazy hair, and his laughter
4) I am thankful that I am still in touch with Art's family because when I hug his mom, it is like hugging part of him.
5) I am thankful for getting the privledge to tell a precious couple who has been coming to our community, Art and I's story tonight since we were sharing our testimonies with them. Yes, there were tears but it felt good especially on a day like today to keep Art's memory alive and tell someone just how wonderful he is so they can look forward to meeting him some day.
12 comments:
Your sincerity makes you easy to trust. I love you!
Paul
You are amazing-I am so lucky to have you in my life!!! I love you too
OMA
I've never really thought about it in those terms before, but you're right. Art is one of those people I'll be looking forward to meeting. Because of you, I love him already. Because of you, I'm excited to meet and experience his warmth, his smile. Because of you, I can already appreciate the unique light of G-d in him. Thanks for sharing this blessing.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart. I sat here remembering, crying, smiling and praying for you, my dear friend. I thank our Father that you are surrounded by such a precious family. Miss you. ~Beth
this is my second time to leave a comment sweet Lauren. What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man who was loved by all of us. Thank you for sharing your heart and expressing it in such a powerful way. love you -- mom
that brought tears to my eyes. you are such an amazing example of how to remain open and sensitive after a loss. for those of us who have experienced pain, this is so very inspiring. bless you.
Lauren I've been reading your blog for years now and never left a comment. I feel like I know you but when I hugged you at wyatt's funeral, it was clear you had no idea who i was! lol :) I just wanted to say how touched I am at this last post. My biological father passed away when I was 1 and my mom remarried very quickly thereafter. It has been almost like a taboo to speak of my biological father, and even now 32 years later I still do not know much about him. I just wanted to say how much i love your post about Art. I also love how Paul embraces your loss, as your current husband. Thank you for sharing about Art and remembering him. It made me smile and wished that my mom would have done the same. Bless you :)
corrie
Lauren, thank you for sharing this experience and celebrating Art. Love to all of you!
I love how willing you are to share. I always was amazed at your strength and love when you share about Art. But I feel like I understand more now about loss. It makes me even more in awe of how strong you really are. How amazing it is that you still have the ability to love with the depth that you do. You are a blessing. I love your heart.
i love you. thank you for your transparency and your deep love and emotions. your relationship with paul is inspiring, too. i have an even deeper appreciation for him after reading this post and seeing the picture of him. i love you both, and cherish my time with you, paul, harrison, noah, and hadassah.
And I love the picture of Noah's crazy hair. And the video. Eliana laughs hysterically at Eric's antics when she's on the swing, too. So fun.
Lauren - I have had many requests from the Father these days and most of them are hard or sad or serious but He reminded me that Phil. 4:6 says, "with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I just think it is cool how he is saying the same thing to you even though it is a different situation. I love you and will also love getting to meet Art in Heaven.
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