Noah

Yesterday was Noah's birthday. He is such a blessing to us. It is hard to believe he is already three. I call hadassah noah by mistake all the time because it seems like the other day he was her size. The picture above is when I had Noah and then the next one is him when I had Hadassah. A couple of weeks ago, we were at lunch and noah prayed and I said "Noah are you praying to Jesus?." He said , "Yeah but where is He?" I said He is here you just can't see Him. He said "Where?" I said "He lives inside of you" He said "In my belly?" I said "No, in your heart." I reminded him that when we take communion which we try to do a couple of times a week together we pray "Lord thank you for your body and blood, forgive me, heal me and fill me" when we say fill me we are asking Him to come into our heart. I asked Him if he wanted to ask Him to come into His heart again. He said "Yes" so we prayed together. Noah grasped the concept more than I thought and all on his own a few weeks later started singing this song about Jesus in my heart I just happened to catch it on video. (Paul in the video is actually just as funny to watch as noah)

Thinking about this later, it would have been more actuate to say the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts but I got caught up in the moment. I have explained it more to Him since then. I was thinking about not telling him yesterday that it was his birthday since we are going to do his party when my parents come back in town in a couple of weeks but I couldn't contain myself, I gave him a big hug and said Happy Birthday. I asked him how old he was today and put up his three fingers and he said "I am three right now"

Then I decided maybe it would be good for all of us to go and do some of Noah's favorite things. So I made him mac and cheese for lunch then after his nap we picked up Harrison from his mom's and took them to chick fil a so Noah could play and get his happy meal, then we went to T Rex to get some dinosaurs, and then Cold stones for pink ice cream.We walked around the Legends area and found a big fountain for the the boys to play in.

It sounds like a good time but the reality is I couldn't stop thinking about Wyatt and apparently Harrison was having a hard time too because right when we got home he started crying really hard and asked to go back to his mom's. The night progressed and Noah wouldn't go to bed, he kept wanting me in his room with him and would cry when I would leave all the while Hadassah kept crying and wouldn't stop. Once Noah got to bed, I decided to get in the car and see if it wouldn't help Hadassah calm down. I was at a total melting point. Tears pours down and thoughts went in every which way direction. I called my dear friend Ali from Florida she listened and prayed for me. I can't tell you how much that phone call meant to me. Thanks for talking, Ali, even though it was midnight to you.

So this morning, I woke up and got a message from one of my best friends from college and she told me her mom is now on hospice. I have blogged about her situation before. http://noahcalebblake.blogspot.com/2009_07_01_archive.html

Please keep Nicole Berry's family and her mom and dad in your prayers during this difficult time.

I also realized that today is Art and I's anniversary. We would have been married 7 years today. Here is one of my favorite picture of him from our wedding.

I miss him so much still but I am thankful that Wyatt and Zeke are getting to be with him right now. Since we weren't able to have kids together and that was such a desire of his heart, maybe he has some role in heaven of raising them up to be a mighty warriors. All of this to say, we could still really use your prayers for our family.

leah's birthday

Today is my dear friend and sister in law Leah's 31st birthday. I figured since many of you are praying for her out there I will just let you know her a little better. Leah is one of those people who comes into your life and leaves an impression forever. She is one who you try not to compare yourself too because she does everything really well. She has a contagious laugh and smile. She is extremely creative. She serves with joy those she loves both her family and friends. She has a depth and love for the Lord that you can experience just being in her presence and especially when she prays. She is one of the most selfless people I know.

Here is an example, that will pretty much sum up the kind of person she is: when I was going to the hospital to have Hadassah she ran out and gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. I know how hard it has been for her not having her baby Zeke here and her two sister in laws pregnant and then having babies yet she choose to rejoice with me. Then in the morning, when we said I was in labor she came up to the hospital, the same hospital she had Zeke in, and supported me in my labor. When Hadassah was born, she all on her own grabbed my camera and started taking pictures for me. When I got home, there was sidewalk chalk welcoming Hadassah home on our driveway, there were flowers in my home and it was picked up and a card thanking me for letting her be in the delivery room. A couple days later, I woke up and found homemade cinnamon rolls in my kitchen from her. And any one who knows Leah knows that she is the best cook in town. She also made me two gourmet meals in the in the first two weeks I was home from the hospital. She did all this in the midst of her grief.

She has served our community in so many ways, she helps with the meals, watching the kids, making kids lessons, she and her husband lead two small groups, and her prophetic gifting has lead many in the community into a deeper relationship with the Lord. She is a role model to me as how to be a leader, servant, friend, mother, and child of God. I am amazed as I now watch Leah mourn deeply all over again for her oldest son, Wyatt, yet in the midst of it she is proclaiming the message of hope that we have in Christ to those who are around her. I celebrate your life today, Leah and treasure every moment we have together. You truly are fearfully and wonderfully made, I know that full well.

Urgent Prayer Request

The only reason I am taking time to post right now is for prayer from those of you who read this blog and because I can't sleep and don't have the energy or tears to talk to anyone right now so blogging is a way of release for me.

This morning, my precious nephew Wyatt William Blake went to join his brother Zeke and be with the Lord. He was only 4 and a half. He woke up this morning not breathing. He was not only Harrison and Noah's cousin who lived across the street but both of their best friend. Tears are streaming down my face right now as I write this. I miss that little guy so much already. He was such an amazing role model for Noah and all the kids in our community. Please pray for a miracle and for his family, his parents Tom and Leah and his sister, Cassie. Here is one of my favorite pictures of Wyatt. This is so unbelievable I can't even believe I am writing this.

Life

What does this picture say to you?

It says Life to me. Paul celebrated mother's day for me yesterday with the boys and Hadassah since we didn't have Harrison on Mother's day. While we were sitting at our picnic table, Paul asks me, "So what have you been thinking about on this Mother's Day?" I said "Life both what a miracle it is and how fleeting it is."

In both of those things, we really have no control over. As mother's we give birth to life but it God who creates and breathes life into the baby in the womb. It is in this area that we often don't mind not being in control due to the anticipation of discovering who this little one is going be. However, when someone we love departs this world the helpless feeling of not being in control doesn't feel so great in fact it can be extremely painful. You might be thinking Lauren this is a little heavy for a mother's day post. Well this past week has been one that has shaken me once again to the fleeting aspect of life.

The Sunday before Mother's day, my two sister in laws and my mother in law had a beautiful baby shower for Hadassah and invited our house church ladies.

They purposely planned it to be for when my mom, sister, and two nieces were going to be here. It was such a joy having my family here to celebrate with me. We were all heading to the shower in our minivan when all of a sudden the car in front of me moved to another lane and there before me was a queen box spring mattress. I moved to the right and then jerked us back into the lane clipping only a small part of the mattress. My sister put her body over Hadassah's car seat to stabilize it from the sudden movement. Overall, we were all okay except for some neck injuries. But, the suddenness of it reminded me of how at any time we can be taken from this life to the next. I feel blessed to have this picture of my mom, sister, nieces and Hadassah at the shower. It is one I will always treasure.

At the shower people gave me gifts that started with the letter "H" since Hadassah starts with an H. I got anything from Huggies diapers,herbs, an Heirloom of my baby blanket to pass on, honey, a hedgehog stuffed animal, a height chart, a soft hare for Hadassah to sleep with, and a hollylock picture etc. Here are some pics.

I have been thinking about what I could give her that started with the letter H but had not come to any conclusions yet. Then this past Sunday on Mother's Day, I got a message from a friend saying that my spiritual mom's daughter who was 25 weeks pregnant just had her baby unexpectedly but the baby who was alive when he was born had his heart stop in the helicopter on the way to the hospital. Waves of emotions, thoughts, tears, prayers hit me hard. Again the theme of fleeting life, why Lord... why thoughts and feelings of sorrow for Dana and her family while also experiencing grief all over again for Art and Zeke. As I was writing a card to Dana a phrase kept coming to me to write her that helped me in my time of grief it was "prisoner of hope". So even though life is not in our control, hope is what we can hold on too. So that is the "H" gift that I would like for Hadassah to have: HOPE with an eternal perspective.


here is a poem I wrote on 9/11/05 (a year and 2 months after Art had gone to be with the Lord)

"Prisoner of Hope"

Despite the grief,
I am a prisoner of hope
Bound to my Eternal Love

Chains of truth and grace
Hold me steadfast
Until I see your face

Perseverance will complete its work
Wholeness will fill emptiness
Unspeakable joy will invade the tears

A prisoner of hope, am I
yet free to fly
For you became a prisoner for me
When you died upon the tree

You bore not only my sin but grief and sorrow
Because of this I can face tomorrow
You took the sting of death
As you gave your last breathe

Oh victory of victories
You have allowed me to see
Death has no hold on me
Rather your love has set me free

Although the waves come
I will cling to the cross
And let you purify the dross

Many waters cannot quench love
As I fix my gaze to look above

I see you there
It is almost too much to bear
Beauty beyond beauty
I want to know Thee

Keep me captive
This is my plea
Until my hope becomes my reality.